Southern Roy has been fucking this girl, Alexis. So sick. They are the two most insecure people I know — perfect for each other. The fucked up part is that Alexis is like 17, and Roy is 22.

I’m grateful to be clean today. In the car I was thinking about being late to night school, making up tests, Algebra, Spanish II, college applications, taking the SAT… I have to take night classes because I fucked up so bad last year.  I get so overwhelmed and then I remember taking the same road to the check-cashing store, withdrawing, being dope sick, wanting to die… no matter what happens, it’s good not to be sick.

October 1st, 2008

Yesterday I saw “Choke” with Amir and his girlfriend, or whatever the fuck she is — he just calls her “his bitch.” It’s so funny, he’s like, “Yeah, I’ll go watch a movie with you, I’ll bring my bitch.” The movie was so good, I forgot how interesting the book was. How was he on his fourth step if he was still fucking? Do sex addicts stop having sex all together? I don’t know, I’ll have to look into it.

Didn’t go to a meeting yesterday. I heard Sean was there, “all sorts of fucked up,” as Roy put it. He was in a wife beater and baggy pants, hadn’t shaved, people said he looked homeless. Guess he didn’t get Baker Acted after all.

I’m going to homecoming with this girl Hannah. Or is it prom? Homecoming/prom, I still don’t know what the difference is. Anyways, Hannah is really cool. I like her a lot. Like as a friend. But I would probably fuck her too. She’s got huge tits. I don’t like a lot of people, but I like her.

We have this green counter in front of the cafeteria. That’s what it's called—The Green Counter. Everything that goes on at school is always at “The Green Counter.”

 “Come pick up your tickets at The Green Counter!” 

“Come pick up your class rings at The Green Counter!”

 “Don’t forget to grab some freshly baked cookies at The Green Counter!” 

Today, when I walked up to The Green Counter to grab my homecoming tickets, I touched the counter and had a flashbulb memory (that’s a vocab word from psych class) of me crushing up Oxys at the counter and snorting it in front of kids that were working behind it, probably trying to show some kind school spirit in my own way. How do you like your Green Counter now you little fucking faggots?

There I was, snorting Oxy 80s in school like it’s a fucking titty bar. Sometimes I can’t believe I used to act like that. Who does that?

I haven’t felt like using lately, but I have been thinking about needles a lot for some reason.

Rush rush, get the yayo…..

hit the cellular how u want it whipped or regular

and tell ya white girls about my white girl, shit I’m part of the reason it;s a white world

don’t sniff too hard though, you might hurl

what you deal with is usually average

I’m the husband the movie traffic

you Frankie flowers lose the faggot” —Cam’ron

Cam is the best.