People I know addicted to blues:

Ashley Gonzalez        Hansen      Aaron       Nikki Davis

Kevin      Mandy       Patrick                    Will

Dru          Amir          Banks                  Andrew

Eric          Heather        Petey               JP

Nick          Travis      Joey  Edbril         Devin

Dana          Geoff    Dave Fox         Kelly Clark

Sean      Sean’s girl      Eric                 Freddy

…and those are just the ones I know off the top of my head.

If I really thought about it there’s probably like 50 people I PERSONALLY KNOW who are strung out on pills or heroin right now.

January 23rd, 2009

I didn’t want to go to a meeting last night but I ended up going anyway. I saw Tim there; he’s got 23 days clean. Apparently Anderson is getting everyone to shoot up. He and Tim started slamming together. No one talks to Stoop anymore, he’s robbed too many people… no one fucks with him at all. Last Tim heard, his dad was buying drugs for him, trying to keep him under control.

Britney came over last night, I was half expecting to fuck but we just chilled and watched Billy Madison. She’s cool, I really like her a lot.

Anderson is going to a Methadone clinic, that’s just as bad as shooting dope. It’s so sad seeing people on methadone and suboxone. Crazy how that used to be my dream. 

I remember the first time I did methadone, I was laying in bed dope sick as fuck on a school night. I would sit in my bathtub in warm water and when that got annoying, I’d run to my bed wrapped up in towels with the fan on full blast, trying to counteract the cold sweats. Shivering and half crying, running to the toilet to shit, going through my phone trying to find drugs. I finally got a hold of Amir and he said he had methadone. It was only $20 and that’s all I had. He was 40 minutes north of me at his college dorm in Boca Raton. I couldn’t think of anything else, so I said fuck it, took the keys to my dad’s truck and drove there. When I got there, it was about 3am. Amir opened the door shirtless, his little gold chain, slicked back hair, pale skin. Amir is Turkish. We had known each other since we were kids. He came from money but he didn’t act like it. He was probably just as fucked up as me, he had taught me everything I knew about drugs when I was younger. We would make gravity bongs at my house and smoke bud at the park, sell weed, go to parties, take turns fucking girls. He’s four years older. 

He opened the door half asleep, he looked at me, “Damn nigga, you drove far as fuck. Who’s truck is that?” I rush inside…

“It’s my dad’s,” I tell him.

“Damn, that nigga didn’t hold back, huh? That shit’s nice as fuck.. yo, check out my place, so many bitches here, bro, my bitch just left, she was sucking my dick for like 2 hours, haha, but I couldn’t nut cause I was on pills and I just made her feel like it was cause she wasn’t doing it right. That bitch is dumb as fuck. I made her feel so bad, I kept saying, ‘Bitch you can’t even make me cum’ hahaha.”

“That’s crazy, so what's up with the shit?”

“Ohh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you.”

He pulls out this thick weird round orange pill that’s split into four — way bigger than any pill I’ve ever seen. I looked at Amir skeptically.